| | it is nice to have a home again, i've never been so happy to see dust collecting on my family's things. | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment   |
| | he is nowhere to be found, but still sits next to me. i think what makes it so hard isn't necessarily the ending, but the remembrance of how it was in the beginning. how did we stray so far? where did all the long drives, little presents, surprise visits, and good sex go? lately it's just been tears and frustration. each kiss feels like we've settled that it has to be the last. we are business like and reserved. i don't like waiting for the end, but it's so hard to forget that it's coming. and soon. i miss him already. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Why would I lie to someone i love? Who I know will love me unconditionally, regardless of whether I am perfect or not. This question has been occupying my mind for the majority of last night and this morning. And, after all this contemplative thought, I have yet to find my answer. It seems impulsive, it seems horrible, it seems silly and pointless. I feel like shit, i want to be forgiven. Bleh. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | life is so fucking weird. it shocks me every time something i do or say has an effect on someone other than myself. when i show affection, greed, callousness, vulnerability, wit, or any other cause-and-effect quality. why can't i just turn myself completely inward? i feel like everyone is temporary but myself, everyone is fragile but me. as far as i myself may wander, my mind is inevitably tethered to my ideals. i want everyone to be at least content, to find solace in themselves, to be aware that they are their own best friend. tis the truth. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| ... husband en route to israel
... successfully completed my first sewing class
... hair is growing out nicely
... waking up at 5 a.m. to go running
... fasting tomorrow!
... enjoying every minute of sunlight
... studying for art history
... "bustin' a jack"
... getting some rest <3 | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| new years = pretty fucking sweet!
work at 2, bleh. it feels like a creme brulee / feist kinda morning. | | comments: 5 comments or Leave a comment |
| for the first time i stepped outside my door, smoked a red and listened to how quiet it was... and i actually enjoyed the cold! looks like winter has officially started for me.
katie is tranfering to emerson next semester. as much as it bums me out, i am happy for her. i think it will be a good thing in the long run. im a little jealous... i wish i could go with her </3 | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| today is just a really bad day.
for the first time in a long time, i am regretting what i did. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | this thanksgiving... i am thankful for alon and his penis and aviator sunglasses and soft isreali/moroccan lips and nice black hair and the beauty mark right below his left eye and for holiday breaks long enough for college students to come home from boston! | | comments: Leave a comment |
| A MAN WITH SOME BALLS...
is all im really looking for. how pathetic is it that every guy ive met/hung out with during the past couple of months has been a pussy? whats the reasoning for that?
and then i remind myself why i avoided boys for so long.
i need me an isreali husband who goes to school in boston and is coming home for thanksgiving... | | comments: 9 comments or Leave a comment |
| the past sequence of days has felt amazing
as the a.m./p.m. pendullum swings me a breeze,
and it taps a perfect tempo for my time.
i can relate to the leaves that get kicked around
by potomac suv's speeding through
suburban strip mall groceries.
and i kinda like the chase.
its kinda quite and great around 10:57
on a weekday morning,
as much as i hate to admit it,
all because i work there.
all because my schools only a mile away.
the cute boys are still cute.
and by "still cute" i mean naive.
simply retarded,
so it seems.
ASS BURGERZZZZZZZ!!!
but i have new jeans and a brand new sweater.
i wish i had a boy to stretch it out! | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| so on the day of my birthday... an ambulance bell rang every fifteen minutes and someone dressed as the grim reaper came into a class and claimed a student as "dead".
wow.
then at lunch, a totalled car was parked in the bus loop and a firetruck had to cut the roof of the car open to fit "crash victim" students inside.
wtf?
hung out with katie, emma and "boobie" after school. the day was so beautiful and inspiring in itself. these are the kind of after school experiences that will fuel my mind in old age.
plus emma put 19 candles (( + 1 for luck? )) on a cupcake and got me florescent purple daisies covered in glitter, how cute <3
i really want it to be saturday for multiple reasons.
the day tired me out.
major birthday blunt tired me out.
dinner with my family tired me out.
chris and alison are here. | | comments: 6 comments or Leave a comment |
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